July, 2005
by Shannon K. Spellman, M.S.W.
Allow some room for your teens to express their independence while requiring respect for you and your beliefs at the same time.
For instance, you could allow your teens to listen to whatever music they want to in the privacy of their own room but require that the volume be at a reasonable level and that they respect your choice of the music in the car.
The same can be done with clothing choices. Let them wear whatever they want to at home or with their friends but require them to dress more appropriately when going out in public with you or when your guests are coming over.
All these choices are of course subjective and you need to adapt them to your own family and cultural beliefs. But, the idea is to teach the value of claiming autonomy and independence along with the value of respecting differences.
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