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September, 2007

by Shannon K. Spellman, M.S.W.

Many parents are confused about whether or not it is okay to have rewards and consequences for grades.  There is nothing wrong with motivating rewards and deterring consequences as long as they are reasonable for your child's achievement potential.

Problems occur when teens are so limited by consequences that they don't ever get to experience any fun, normal adolescent activities.  If your teen is repeatedly failing and rewards or consequences are to no avail, there may be more going on there that needs further investigation and intervention. 

It's important to involve your adolescent in the problem identification and resolution stages rather than simply delving out things that you believe might motivate your kid.  Ask your teens what would be helpful and then work with them to help them attain that.  And remember to praise efforts even if they fall short of the goal.  Offer an alternative reward.

 

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